One day I couldn't remember where my paycheck went. Not all of it, but a noticeable chunk. I opened my statement. Everything was there: coffee, delivery, small purchases, subscriptions. I looked at it and didn't remember buying any of it. I didn't regret the money. It was strange that I seemed to be absent from my own life. I started writing it down. Just the amount. At first I forgot, quit, got annoyed. Then I got used to it. A month later, for the first time in a while, I roughly understood where I stood with money. Not perfectly, but I understood.